What if God asked you to give it all up?
What if He said….”None of this belongs to you. If you want to follow Me, you must give it up. Let go of home, family, car, money, dreams, friends, reputation, protection, even having your very needs met.”
Would you still follow Him?
I sometimes think I would jump ship….
As a matter of fact, I’ve jumped ship more than once already……
Can I be honest? Would that fit here? I’ve jumped ship. I have. Not because I wanted to. Not in the spirit. No, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. That flesh has ruled me way too many times. It has led me to shame and to covering up because of that shame. It has led me to seek comfort and to fussing at my husband because of the lack of “my” comfort. It has led me to do what was in my best interest instead of the best interest of the whole family. I’ve snapped at people. I’ve ignored people. I’ve judged people. I’ve given up on people. I’ve been angry. I’ve been disappointed. I’ve been selfish. I’ve complained about my life. I’ve been negative. I’ve been unwilling to give people a chance. I’ve been moody. I’ve been proud. I’ve neglected a responsibility. I’ve tried to sound smart in a response on someone else’s post so I would look super spiritual. Let’s just face it…I’ve jumped ship.
I wanted to be special. I wanted to know I was accepted by people AND by the Lord. I wanted to be what I could not be on my own…but I missed the whole point to how it happens….so I jumped ship. The Lord said….”be authentic” and I said…”oh…really, really spiritual…yes…that’s what He means” …. The Lord said “love” and I said…”Oh, speak those words of wisdom others OBVIOUSLY miss…..that’s love, right?” I missed it. And when things got tough I blamed my husband for that. I said…”you just need to get with the program. If you would get with the program we wouldn’t be here. We’re here because of you. All because of you.” I’ve neglected to love him Biblically. I’ve neglected to respect him and honor him and let people see the good things in him because they might also see the bad…and that would shame me…so no…can’t look at him too deeply. Jumpin that ship again.
It got cloudy….I could see the rain coming….I knew what that meant…storms….
As those waters rose I ran…….
Like Jonah….God was calling him to speak to a city that the Lord deeply cared about. Jonah sought his own desires. He didn’t want to do it. I was that way too. I sought my own way. I didn’t want to go where God was leading me to go. I didn’t want to see those things happen. I knew what it would mean. I knew. Just like Jonah. So…like Jonah…I sought to be dumped over the edge…rather than to obey and say…”I’m not where I need to be. I’ve got to turn around. I won’t put you in danger. I just request you help me get back to my starting place.” Nope. I just said…”Dump me” …….. That was easier. Quitting. That was going to be less revealing. I could always blame that on someone else.
One thing I’ve learned….if you love the Lord….there is always a springtime in your faith. There’s always a place where you start to realize and you begin to turn from the sin that still sits within you. You begin to be crafted by the potter Himself into a useful vessel…..
That was my experience….. I realized I wasn’t looking at things correctly. It was never about what I wanted. It was never about my safety or my reputation or my needs or my desires. It was about His plan. His promise to me was that He would love me and never leave me….same promise He gives us all…it wasn’t that He would shield me from every single thing that would be uncomfortable. And even in not shielding me…He would use that to cause others who had been more faithful servants…understand how to help those who hadn’t been. He would use my failures for the Kingdom. Not that He desired I do those things. Just that He can and will use any area of our lives when those areas are fully submitted to Him.
I turned around. I walked back to that place He wanted me to be in. It wasn’t a short journey. I dare say I’m still on that road back. Life is a process. But the beautiful thing is that each and every step “back” is a step I don’t have to take alone. He is on that road with me. That’s a promise…..
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Ps 23:1KJV
Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Ps 23:4 KJV
Father, I want to be authentic….You and I both know how much I need You. How little I know. How little in me is worth keeping. Let Your glory shine to those who need Your encouragement. Thank You for saving me from myself…..